Lyrics: My Better Self

The sun burns down
Leaving God’s bright stamp
On Peace Branch Horse and Bible Camp
Where we’re splashing in the water
Joined in song
Swimming with the Spirit the whole day long
I’m a teen for God

God is watching – teen for God
God is watching – teen for God

The girls have looks and the girls have rules
They came here from their Bible schools
They can make you pay attention
To the way you dress and eat
Make you trip over your own two feet and they
Kneel down on their towels at night
Their nightgowns glow with a Holy light
And we pray for the sinners
And their drunken car wrecks
And vow that I’ll never get high
And have sex
I’m a teen for God

God is watching – teen for God
God is watching – teen for God

And God made every leaf on every tree
Each grain of sand
God has a plan
For what we’re meant to be
I gotta wait for God
Dear Lord
I plan each day
The things I will not do or say
But I’m driven by a passion
Is it only there to tame?
It fills my heart and it calls my name and
This world that you made for us
I know, I know, is dangerous
So I ride a lot of horses
And I never even swear
Sorta like praying I’m just not there

Oh God

God is watching – oh God
God is watching

But God made love
God made the rivers run
And cowboy boots and bathing suits
And the boys’ skin dries in the sun…
You gotta help me, God
Help me know, four years from now
I won’t believe in you anyhow
And I’ll mope around the campus
And I’ll feel betrayed
All those guilty summers I stayed
But then I’ll laugh
That I fell for the lure
Of the pain of desire to feel so pure
And I’ll bear all the burdens
Of my little daily crimes
Wish I had a God for such cynical times
Far from today

But for now I’m your sacred vessel
Rip me open – I spread your word
Like a milkweed pod
I’m your radio station -
And a Holy transmission
Even more, like a lightning rod

I’m a lightning rod – a teen for God

God is watching – teen for God
God is watching… a teen for God

I tried again, I went last night
Another date was just not right
And as I drove myself back home
A little voice said “just be alone”
But sometimes I think
I see you in a crowd
It’s not picture perfect you’re just meant for me somehow
And I’ll miss you till I meet you
Oh I’ll miss you till I meet you

I miss you all the time

I love the world just as it is
And I won’t lose my faith in it
But there are days I think of you

Saying “hey that’s beautiful yeah I see it too”
It all goes by so fast, like waving hands
You want to capture things
Find someone who understands
And I’ll miss you till I meet you
Oh I’ll miss you till I meet you

I miss you all the time

Can you keep me awake
I thought you could help
Just to feel my way
Find my better self
Oh I’ll miss you
Oh I’ll miss you
I miss you all the time

The morning’s gone
All dreamed away
But that’s all right
It’s Saturday
When people think
That they might see
Another chapter, yeah, their destiny
And when Monday morning comes around
Get the work done but I listen for the sound
And I’ll miss you till I meet you
I miss you all the time

Every time you love just a little
Take one step closer, solving a riddle
It echoes all over the world

Every time you opt in to kindness
Make one connection, used to divide us
It echoes all over the world

Every time you choose one more morning
Goodness or meanness, life has one warning
It echoes all over the world

When a leader gets the hungry fed food
When you just make love inside your bedroom
It echoes all over the world

How did we lose this great wrath
Everything burns in our path
The balance we broke
Left us running through smoke
You’re at the blue light of the flame
As the earth melts at the poles
I race to man the controls
And I work harder, fiercer and smarter
You are at the blue light of the flame
So this is where it all ends
With the flowers by your bed
And your friends come to you
As the light turns to dark
But the light shines through
Yes when the hurricanes came
We were the gods that we blamed
We have orange red fire
We fear our desire
You kneel at the blue light of the flame
Happy on rescue
Somebody let you
Look into the blue light of the flame

I think I’d like to go back home
And take it easy
There’s a woman that I’d like to get to know
Living there

Everybody seems to wonder
What it’s like down here
I gotta get away
From this day-to-day
Running around
Everybody knows this is nowhere
Everybody, everybody knows

Every time I think about back home
It’s cool and breezy
I wish that I could be there right now
Passing time

Everybody seems to wonder
What it’s like down here
I gotta get away
From this day-to-day
Running around
Everybody knows this is nowhere
Everybody, everybody knows
Everybody knows

I think I’d like to go back home
And take it easy
There’s a woman that I’d like to get to know
Living there

Everybody seems to wonder
What it’s like down here
I gotta get away
From this day-to-day
Running around
Everybody knows this is nowhere
Everybody, everybody knows
Everybody knows

Two sides of a river
The river rushes through
Two sides of a river
One for me and one for you

We can build a bridge or baby
We can jump in
See what the river do
It’s two sides of a river
Great big river rushin’ through

I know the tides of the river
Know how fast and how deep
I know the tides of a river
Hope and pray they don’t shift in your sleep

‘Cause the river bides its lonely loss
It has no vows to keep
I know the tides of a river
Pray, pray they don’t shift in your sleep

I was a bride of the river
Before I ever met you
I was a bride of the river
Where it took me was all that I knew

Now I finally found a love to share my secrets with
Lots of things we can do
I was a bride of the river
That’s where I learned to rock you

Now I finally found a love to share my secrets with
Lots of things we can do
I was a bride of the river
That’s where I learned to rock you

Who’s afraid of the sun?
Who’d question the goodness of the mighty?
We who banish the threat,
When your little ones all go nighty-nighty.

Well, there’s no time for doubt right now
and less time to explain.
So get back on your horses,
kiss my ring, join our next campaign.

And the empire grows with the news that we’re winning.
With more fear to conquer
and more gold thread for spinning.
Bright as the sun, shining on everyone.

Some would say that we forced our words
and we find that ingenuously churlish.
Words are just words.
Don’t be so pessimistic, weak and girlish.

We like strong, happy people
who don’t think there’s something wrong with pride,
Work makes them free
and we spread that freedom far and wide.

And the empire grows,
the seeds of its glory,
For every five tanks,
plant a sentimental story,
till they worship the sun,
even Christ-loving ones.

And we’ll kill the terrorizers
and a million of their races.
But when our people torture you
that’s a few random cases.

Don’t question the sun
It doesn’t help anyone.

But the journalists cried out
when it was too late to stop us.
Everyone had awakened
to the dream they could enter our colossus.

And now I’m right,
here you said I’m right,
there’s nothing that can harm me.
Cause the sun never sets
on my dungeons or my army.

And the empire fell
on it’s own splintered axis.
And the emperor wanes
as the silver moon waxes.

And the farmers will find old coins
In their strawberry fields
while somebody somewhere
twists his ring as someone kneels.

Oh where is the sun, shining for everyone?
Oh where is the sun, shining for everyone?

Hello?
Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me.
Is there anyone home?
Come on, now.
I hear you’re feeling down.
Well I can ease your pain,
Get you on your feet again.
Relax.
I need some information first.
Just the basic facts,
Can you show me where it hurts?v
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I had a fever.
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I got that feeling once again.
I can’t explain, you would not understand.
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.
Ok.
Just a little pinprick.
There’ll be no more …Aaaaaahhhhh!
But you may feel a little sick.
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working. Good.
That’ll keep you going for the show.
Come on it’s time to go.
There is no pain, you are receding.
A distant ship’s smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re sayin’.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse,
Out of the corner of my eye.
I turned to look but it was gone.
I cannot put my finger on it now.
The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.

I never had a friend as close as you
so close to my heart
I dropped everything when you came through
so close to my heart
and I put my pens and my paint box aside
oh so close to my heart
and the river that ran down the rock face dried
oh so close to my heart
when you were close to my heart
It was an honor that you ran so free
so close to my heart
I thought I’d lost something forever, silly me
so close to my heart
but the place you hid in as bare as it seems
so close to my heart
It held my will in its infinite dreams
so close to my heart
when you were close to my heart

so now you’re gone and now we’ll both find our ways
so close to our hearts
by the forge that leaves a stamp on each day
so close to our hearts
and we’ll long to make great things in our lives
so close to our hearts
and we’ll wonder if what we make survives
oh to the beat of the heart
It’s the work of the heart
but you were close to my heart

I saw your flag
Another star, another stripe
What’s your new bag?
Something real or just some hype
Tell me, what have you sown
Have you prospered and grown?
Why shouldn’t you have your moments of genius
Just because our alliance broke with no
Civil words between us

Oh, my beautiful enemy, beautiful
I send my scorn and ridicule
You’re not innocent
No, not innocent
No one’s innocent

My nation’s grand
Your name’s not on any signs
It’s so well-planned
And well-groomed and yet somehow
The past tornadoes through
People talk about you
Can’t they see that your reign
Is steely and torturous?
I start thinking that I am sinking
Inside a hollow fortress

Oh, my enemy, beautiful enemy
My stride is slowed by memory but
Not innocent
No, not innocent
No one’s innocent

In my furies of dream
The juries denounce you
There I stand with the upper hand
But in order to trounce you

I just keep getting above myself
I just keep getting above myself

And so I’m worried but as I stated
Things can be complicated, but
You’re my enemy
You’re my enemy
You’re my enemy

The future’s bright
There are new things we will love
It feels so right
Let’s not make up or rise above
Yes, we are more corrupted
Happy and productive
We’ll both live in a world of civilized
People
Though I’ve heard that my brand new church
Has a slightly higher steeple

Oh, my enemy, beautiful enemy
Hail to your vast hegemony
You’re not innocent
I’m not innocent
No one’s innocent

Oh, my enemy, beautiful enemy
Hail to your vast hegemony
You’re not innocent
I’m not innocent
No one’s innocent

Out where the children all get their own rooms
where they stir coffee with old silver spoons in their mansions
There’s a girl that the whole town can see doesn’t fit in
But they all know that she understands them

And they want to know
Where the kid came from
She won’t tell anyone
But they know she’s a liar
That’s what they know
She’s a liar
That’s what they know

You do what you have to do
Maybe you could be a liar too

There’s a school where she goes every day
Everything that you could want if you pay you can find there
She came in with a dream and a plan
Learned how to use movie cameras and started to shine there

And they want to know
Where the kid came from
She won’t tell anyone
But they know she’s a liar
That’s what they know
She’s a liar
That’s what they know

And if she had to
she could turn the camera right on you

As for the teachers they all knew her crime
Whe she was everday always on time they saw through her
She took the train from the city at dawn
Broke through the woods and crept through the lawns to her future

So maybe they know
Where the kid came from
They won’t tell anyone
And they know she’s a liar
That’s what they know
She’s a liar
Just because
She reached higher
They are so proud of their liar
They are so proud

You do what you have to do
Maybe you could be a liar too

We could pretend that we’re walking on petals and light, golden light
Flaunting our love like a dance step mastered, turning from left to right
But after all the colored lights are gone
Time will leave the ashes and the dawn
You rise and meet the day

I’m watching you go, it’s like spying on hope ever onward with more to burn
Giving your hands and your heart to the weave of the world, though it fights each turn
But you do not give up so easily
That’s how I know you won’t surrender me
You rise and meet the day
It’s all I need, it’s all I need to know, it’s all I need to know

And I love you all the time
I had always feared that some gloomy ingratitude would seize me
But you have held the dream like every morning finds
A way to hang the sun up in the sky
And now I think I have it too –
The greatest part I learned from you
You rise and meet the day

And I can see kids, maybe yours, maybe not, ohohoh, I can hear what they’ll say
Laughing at pictures with the old-fashioned hats and the clothes that we’re wearing today
And they will know the true and humble power
Of love that made it through the darkest hour
You rise and meet the day
It’s all I need, it’s all I need to know, it’s all I need to know

If we’re lucky we feel our lives
know when the next scene arrives
so often we start in the middle and work our way out

we go to some grey sky diner for eggs and toast
New York Times or the New York Post
then we take a ride through the valley of the shadow of death
but even for us New Yorkers, there’s a time in every day
the river takes our breath away

And the Hudson, it holds the life
we thought we did it on our own

The river roads collect the tolls
for the passage of our souls
through silence, over woods, through flowers and snow
and past the George Washington Bridge,
down from the trails of Breakneck Ridge,
the river’s ancient path is sacred and slow

And as it swings through Harlem,
it’s every shade of blue
into the city of the new brand new

And the Hudson, it holds the life
we thought we did it on our own
I thought I had no sense of place or past
time was too slow, but then too fast
the river takes us home at last

Where and when does the memory take hold,
mountain range in the Autumn cold
and I thought West Point was Camelot in the spring.
If you’re lucky you’ll find something that reflects you,
helps you feel your life protects you,
cradles you and connects you to everything.
This whole life I remember as they begged them to itself
never turn me into someone else

And the Hudson, it holds the life
we thought we did it on our own

And the Hudson, holds the life
we thought we did it on our own