Lyrics: Out There (Live)

Yea, there was a time I didn’t like the love, I liked the climbers,
I was no sister then, I was running out of time and one liners,
And I was afraid, like you are when you’re too young to know the time, and
So I watch the way you take your fear and hoard the horizon,
You point, you have a word for every woman you can lay your eyes on,
Like you own them just because you bought the time,
And you turn to me, you say you hope I’m not threatened,

Oh — I’m not that petty, as cool as I am, I thought you’d know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

So now were at a club, you watch the woman dancing, she is drunk,
She is smiling and she’s falling in a slow, descending funk,
And the whole bar is loud and proud and everybody’s trying, yeah.
You play the artist, saying, “Is it how she moves, or how she looks?”
I say, It’s loneliness suspended to our own like grappling hooks,
And as long as she’s got noise, she’s fine.
But I could teach her how I learned to dance when the music’s ended,

Oh — and that’s not petty, as cool as I am, I thought you’d know this already,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.
You tried to make me doubt, to make me guess, tried to make me feel like a little less,
Oh, I liked you when your soul was bared, I thought you knew how to be scared,
And now its amazing what you did to make me stay,
But truth is just like time, it catches up and it just keeps going,

And so I’m leaving, you can find out how much better things can get,
And if it helps, Id say I feel a little worse than I did when we met,
So when you find someone else, you can try again, it might work next time,
You look out of the kitchen window and you shake your head and say low,
“If I could believe that stuff, Id say that woman has a halo,”
And I look out and say, “Yeah, she’s really blond,”
And then I go outside and join the others, I am the others,

Oh — and that’s not easy, I don’t know what you saw, I want somebody who sees me,
I will not be afraid of women, I will not be afraid of women.

I never thought you were the letter writing type
so now I see the words you chose the way you write
so I started to write back about the trees in the snow
and I saw a bird, couldn’t say what it was but I thought you’d know
you always surprised me

And if I wrote You
If I wrote You
You would know me
and you would not write me again

And when the spring came and flooded all the streams
It’s like how you got the night you told me all you dreams
And when the barn roof sagged after an icy bout
It’s like how you shrugged when you knew the truth was the only way out
but not the only way

And if I wrote you
If I wrote you
You would know me
and you would not write me again

We drew our arms around the bastard sons
We never would drink to the chosen ones
Well you know the way I left was not the way I planned
But I thought the world needed love and a steady hand
so I’m steady now

And I’m so happy
I had to tell you
And I love you
And you will not write me again
You will not write me again
You will not write me again

I’m sorry that I left you
With your questions all alone
But I was too happy driving
And too angry to drive home
I was thinking about the easy courage
Of my distant friends
They said I could let this bridge wash out
And never make amends

Can I blow this small town
Make a big sound
Like the star of a film noir postcard
Can I just forget the frames I shared with you

And I can’t believe what they’re saying
They’re saying I can change my mind
Start over on Spring Street
I’m welcome anytime

Well there are Spring Street storefront daisies
Floating on their neon stems
There are new shirts on the clothes racks
Should I feel like one of them
I can find a small apartment
Where a struggling artist died
And pretend because I pay the rent
I know that pain inside

Yeah, let’s watch the tour bus stop and tell us
Here’s the scene of a spring green life dream
Take the best part
Write it in your caffeine diary

And I can’t believe what they’re saying
They’re saying I can leave tonight
Start over on Spring Street
I’m welcome anytime

This year April had a blizzard
Just to show she did not care
And the new dead leaves
They made the trees look like children with gray hair
But I’ll push myself up through the dirt
And shake my petals free
I’m resolved to being born
And so resigned to bravery

Yeah the one who leaves this also grieves this
Too much rain on a prairie flood plain
Houses floating, love is like that
We built on the river

And that’s to say, yeah I’m leaving
But I don’t have to go there
I don’t have to go to Spring Street
‘Cause it’s spring everywhere…

I wonder if Yoko Ono
Ever thought of staying solo
If she thought of other men and
If she doubted John Lennon
Worrying that he’d distract her art

Sitting in the Apple sessions
Giving John her music lessons
Challenging the warring nations
With her paper installations
Did she guard her Yoko human heart

Well, they could talk about me
Yeah, they could talk about me
Throw me to the velvet dogs of pop star history
But I won’t be your Yoko Ono
If you’re not good enough for me

Some will give their love for fashion
Others trade their gold for passion
I don’t have the goods to start with
Never had the reins to part with
Still, I hope you take me seriously

‘Cause I think I could go
Deep as the sea of Yoko
You don’t know a person like me
I could sell your songs to Nike
And for all you know
I could save your soul
As only true love can change your mind
Make you leave your screaming fans behind

When John called the wind an opera
Making love with every chakra
When he said her voice would carry
And when he whispered old Chuck Berry
Only then would Yoko set him free

Fame will come and vanish later
Transcendental love is greater
I think if we had this somehow
We’d be feeling famous right now
We’d be saying love is all you need

And they could rag about me
Yeah, they could rag about me
Throw me to the velvet dogs of pop star history
But I won’t be your Yoko Ono
If you’re not good enough for me

Oh, no, and I won’t be your Yoko Ono
If you’re not good enough for me

I threw your keys in the water, I looked back,
They’d frozen halfway down in the ice.
They froze up so quickly, the keys and their owners,
Even after the anger, it all turned silent, and
The everyday turned solitary,
So we came to February.

First we forgot where we’d planted those bulbs last year,
Then we forgot that we’d planted at all,
Then we forgot what plants are altogether,
and I blamed you for my freezing and forgetting and
The nights were long and cold and scary,
Can we live through February?

You know I think Christmas was a long red glare,
Shot up like a warning, we gave presents without cards,
And then the snow,
And then the snow came, we were always out shoveling,
And we’d drop to sleep exhausted,
Then we’d wake up, and it’s snowing.

And February was so long that it lasted into March

And found us walking a path alone together.
You stopped and pointed and you said, “That’s a crocus,”
And I said, “What’s a crocus?” and you said, “It’s a flower,”
I tried to remember, but I said, “What’s a flower?”
You said, “I still love you.”

The leaves were turning as we drove to the hardware store,
My new lover made me keys to the house,
And when we got home, well we just started chopping wood,
Because you never know how next year will be,
And we’ll gather all our arms can carry,
I have lost to February.

When I went to your town on the wide open shore,
Oh I must confess, I was drawn, I was drawn to the ocean,
I thought it spoke to me, it said, “Look at us,
We’re not churches, not schools, not skating ponds, swimming pools,
And we have lost people, haven’t we though?”v
Oh, that’s what the ocean can know of a body,
And that’s when I came back to town, this town is a song about you.
You don’t know how lucky you are, you don’t know how much I adore you,v
You are the welcoming back from the ocean.

I went back to the ocean today,
With my books and my papers I went to the rocks by the ocean,
But the weather changed quickly, oh the ocean said,
“What are you trying to find, I don’t care, I’m not kind,
I’ve bludgeoned your sailors, I’ve spat out their keepsakes,
Oh it’s ashes to ashes, but always the ocean,”
But the ocean can’t come to this town, this town is a song about you.
You don’t know how lucky you are, you don’t know how much I adore you,
You are the welcoming back from the ocean.

And the ones that can know you so well are the ones that can swallow you whole.
I have a good and I have an evil, I thought the ocean, the ocean thought nothing,
You are the welcoming back from the ocean.

I didn’t go back today,
I wanted to show you that I was more land than water,
I went to pick flowers. I brought them to you,
Look at me, look at them, with their salt up the stem,
But you frowned when I smiled and I tried to arrange them,
You said, “Let me tell you the song of this town,”
You said, “Everything closes at five. After that, well, you just got the bars,
You don’t know how precious you are, walking around with your little shoes dangling,
I am the one who lives with the ocean,

It’s where we came from, you know, and sometimes I just want to go back,
After a day, we drink ’til we’re drowning, walk to the ocean, wade in with our workboots,
Wade in our workboots, try to finish the job.
You don’t know how precious you are, I am the one who lives with the ocean.
You don’t know how I am the one. You don’t know how I am the one.”

Here’s wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness
I know that better things are on their way.

Here’s hoping that the days ahead
Won’t be as bitter as the ones behind you
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on their way.

It’s really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you’ve just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings,
I hope tomorrow you find better things.
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things.

Here’s wishing you the bluest sky
And hoping something better comes tomorrow
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the drudge and sadness
I know that better things are on the way.

I know you’ve got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone, it’s all been said.
So here’s to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things.
I know tomorrow you’ll find better things.

I’ve never had a way with women, but the hills of Iowa make me wish that I could,
And I’ve never found a way to say I love you, but if the chance came by, oh I, I would,
But way back where I come from, we never mean to bother,
We don’t like to make our passions other peoples concern,
And we walk in the world of safe people, and at night we walk into our houses and burn.

Iowa oh ooo oh, Iowa oh ooooh ooo oh I-Iowa

How I long to fall just a little bit, to dance out of the lines and stray from the light,
But I fear that to fall in love with you is to fall from a great and gruesome height.
So I asked a friend about it, on a bad day, her husband had just left her,
She sat down on the chair he left behind, she said,
“What is love, where did it get me? Whoever thought of love is no friend of mine.”

Ioway oh ooo oh, Iowa oh ooooh ooo oh I-Iowa

Once I had everything, I gave it up for the shoulder of your driveway and the words I’ve never felt.
And so for you, I came this far across the tracks, ten miles above the limit, and with no seatbelt, and I’d do it again,
For tonight I went running through the screen doors of discretion,
For I woke up from a nightmare that I could not stand to see,
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa and you were not thinking of me.

Ioway oh ooo oh, Iowa oh ooooh ooo oh I-Iowa
Ioway oh ooo oh, Iowa oh ooooh ooo oh I-Iowa

The summer ends and we wonder where we are
And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car
And you both look so young
And last night was hard, you said
You packed up every room
And then you cried and went to bed
But today you closed the door and said
“We have to get a move on.
It’s just that time of year when we push ourselves ahead,
We push ourselves ahead.”

And it was cloudy in the morning
And it rained as you drove away
And the same things looked different
It’s the end of the summer
It’s the end of the summer,
When you move to another place

And I feel like the neighbor’s girl who will never be the same
She walked alone all spring,
She had a boyfriend when the summer came
And he gave her flowers in a lightning storm
They disappeared at night in green fields of silver corn
And sometime in July she just forgot that he was leaving
So when the fields were dying, she held on to his sleeves
She held on to his sleeves

And she doesn’t want to let go
‘Cause she won’t know what she’s up against
The classrooms and the smart girls
It’s the end of the summer
It’s the end of the summer
When you hang your flowers up to dry

And I had a dream it blows the autumn through my head
It felt like the first day of school
But I was going to the moon instead
And I walked down the hall
With the notebooks they got for me
My dad led me through the house
My mom drank instant coffee
And I knew that I would crash
But I didn’t want to tell them
There are just some moments when your family makes sense
They just make sense

So I raised up my arms and my mother put the sweater on
We walked out on the dark and frozen grass
The end of the summer
It’s the end of the summer
When you send your children to the moon

The summer ends and we wonder who we are
And there you go, my friends, with your boxes in your car
And today I passed the high school, the river, the maple tree
I passed the farms that made it
Through the last days of the century
And I knew that I was going to learn again
Again, in this less hazy light
I saw the fields beyond the fields
The fields beyond the fields

And the colors are much brighter now
It’s like they really want to tell the truth
We give our testimony to the end of the summer
It’s the end of the summer,
You can spin the light to gold.

I am the captain and I have been told
That tomorrow we land and my ship has been sold
Now losing this boat is worth scarce a mention
I think of the crew, most of all the first ensign
For all we learned the sea

Guiding a ship, it takes more than your skill
It’s the compass inside it’s the strength of your will
The first ensign watched as tempests all tried me
I sang in the wind as if God were beside me
For all we learned the sea

You take the wheel one more time like I showed you
We’ve reached the strait once even I could not go through

I am the captain and I have been told
But I am not shaken, I am eight years old
And you are still young, but you’ll understand
That the stars of the sea are the same for the land
And we came to learn the sea

Perhaps I am a miscreation
No one knows the truth there is no future here
And you’re the DJ speaks to my insomnia
And laughs at all I have to fear
Laughs at all I have to fear
You always play the madmen poets
Vinyl vision grungy bands
You never know who’s still awake
You never know who understands and

Are you out there, can you hear this?
Jimmy Olson, Johnny Memphis,
I was out here listening all the time
And though the static walls surround me
You were out there and you found me
I was out here listening all the time

Last night we drank in parking lots
And why do we drink?
I guess we do it cause
And when I turned your station on
You sounded more familiar than that party was
You more familiar than that party
It’s the first time I stayed up all night
It’s getting light I hear the birds
I’m driving home on empty streets
I think I put my shirt on backwards

Are you out there, can you hear this
Jimmy Olson , Johnny Memphis
I was out here listening all the time
And though the static walls surround me
You were out there and you found me
I was out here listening all the time

And what’s the future, who will choose it?
Politics of love and music
Underdogs who turn the tables
Indie versus major labels
There’s so much to see through
Like our parents do more drugs than we do
Oh….
Corporate parents, corporate town
I know every TV set that has them lit
They preach that I should save the world
They pray that I won’t do a better job of it
Pray that I won’t do a better job
So tonight I turned your station on just so I’d be understood
Instead another voice said I was just too late
And just no good….

Calling Olson, Calling Memphis
I am calling, can you hear this?
I was out here listening all the time
And I will write this down
and then
I will not be alone again yeah
I was out here listening
Oh yeah I was out here listening
Oh yeah I am out here listening all the time

I won’t forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I’m glad he didn’t check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other’s lives out on the pirate’s deck.

And I remember that night
When I’m leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it’s not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don’t know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, “Get your shirt,”
I said “No way, it’s the last time I’m not breaking any law.”

And now I’m in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that’s tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can’t help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they’ve got implants to put in,
they’ve got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting…that I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it’s a secret I can keep
Except when I’m tired, ‘cept when I’m being caught off guard
And I’ve had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I’m with about the other life I lived
And I say, “Now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won”
And he says, “Oh no, no, can’t you see

When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you

I don’t go to therapy to find out if I’m a freak
I go and I find the one and only answer every week
And it’s just me and all the memories to follow
Down any course that fits within a fifty minute hour
And we fathom all the mysteries, explicit and inherent
When I hit a rut, she says to try the other parent
And she’s so kind, I think she wants to tell me something,
But she knows that its much better if I get it for myself…
And she says

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, What do you hear in these sounds?
And… Oooooooh,aaaaaaah
What do you hear in these sounds?

I say I hear a doubt, with the voice of true believing
And the promises to stay, and the footsteps that are leaving
And she says “Oh”, I say “What?”…she says “Exactly”,
I say “What, you think I’m angry
Does that mean you think I’m angry?”
She says “Look, you come here every week
With jigsaw pieces of your past
Its all on little soundbytes and voices out of photographs
And that’s all yours, that’s the guide, that’s the map
So tell me, where does the arrow point to?
Who invented roses?”
and…….

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah
What do you hear in these sounds?
And…Oooooooh,aaaaaaah
What do you hear in these sounds?

And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think
That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink
But Oh how I loved everybody else
When I finally got to talk so much about myself…………

And I wake up and I ask myself what state I’m in
And I say well I’m lucky, cause I am like East Berlin
I had this wall and what I knew of the free world
Was that I could see their fireworks
And I could hear their radio
And I thought that if we met, I would only start confessing
And they’d know that I was scared
They’d would know that I was guessing
But the wall came down and there they stood before me
With their stumbling and their mumbling
And their calling out just like me…and…

Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, The stories that nobody hears…and…
Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, and I collect these sounds in my ears…and
Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, that’s what I hear in these sounds…and…
Oooooooh,aaaaaaah, that’s what I hear in these……
that’s what I hear in these sounds

Go ahead, push your luck
Find out how much love the world can hold
Once upon a time I had control
And reined my soul in tight

Well the whole truth
It’s like the story of a wave unfurled

But I held the evil of the world
So I stopped the tide
Froze it up from inside

And it felt like a winter machine
That you go through and then
You catch your breath and winter starts again
And everyone else is spring bound

And when I chose to live
There was no joy – it’s just a line I crossed
It wasn’t worth the pain my death would cost
So I was not lost or found

And if I was to sleep
I knew my family had more truth to tell
And so I traveled down a whispering well
To know myself through them

Growing up, my Mom had a room full of books
And hid away in there
Her father raging down a spiral stair
‘Til he found someone
Most days his son

And sometimes I think
My father, too, was a refugee
I know they tried to keep their pain from me
They could not see what it was for

But now I’m sleeping fine
Sometimes the truth is like a second chance
I am the daughter of a great romance
And they are the children of the war

Well the sun rose with so many colors
It nearly broke my heart
It worked me over like a work of art
And I was a part of all that

So go ahead, push your luck
Say what it is you’ve got to say to me
We will push on into that mystery
And it’ll push right back
And there are worse things than that

‘Cause for every price

And every penance that I could think of
It’s better to have fallen in love
Than never to have fallen at all

‘Cause when you live in a world
Well it gets in to who you thought you’d be
And now I laugh at how the world changed me
I think life chose me after all

Tonight was just great, she taught us the sign for peace
Now she’s made us some popcorn, we’ve turned out the lights
And we’re watching movies
I don’t understand and she tries to explain
How a spaceship is riding through somebody’s brain
And there’s blood and guts and…

She’s the best one that we’ve ever had
She sits on her hair and she’s tall as my dad
And she tie-dyed my shirt and she pierced her own ear
And it’s peace, man, cool, yeah, the babysitter’s here.

Her boyfriend is Tom but we call him “the king of romance”
He wears an American flag on the butt of his ripped up pants and
Will they get married with kids of their own
He says “Not if she’s going to college we won’t”
and he kisses her, oh, someday I’ll have a boyfriend just like that

She’s the best one that we’ve ever had
She sits on her hair and she’s tall as my dad
And she got mad at dinner when Tom drank a beer
But peace man, cool hey, the babysitter’s here

And we all went to see her go dance at the high school
We made her a big card
And she told us that she’d be the unicorn wearing the pink leotard, and
There she was leaping up just like she said
With a sparkling horn coming out of her head
And she’s oh, oh, oh, oh
(I can’t wait to give her the card, I can’t wait to give her the card)
She’s the best one…

OK, so the play was called “The Unicorn” and she was the
unicorn so that means that the star was my babysitter.
But it’s Saturday night, I can’t sleep and I’m watching the news
She says do me a favor don’t go with a guy who would
Make you choose and
I don’t understand and she tries to explain
And all that mascara runs down in her pain ’cause she’s leaving me

You’re the best one that we’ve ever had
You sit on your hair and you’re tall as my dad
And I’ll make you a picture for college next year
So hush now, peace, man
The babysitter’s here
The best babysitter’s here

Amber called her uncle, said “We’re up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having Solstice, now we need a place to stay.”
And her Christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang Mary on a tree,v
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with red dye number three.
He told his niece, “Its Christmas Eve, I know our life is not your style,”
She said, “Christmas is like Solstice, and we miss you and it’s been awhile,”

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.

The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said, “Is it true that you’re a witch?”
His mom jumped up and said, “The pies are burning,” and she hit the kitchen,
And it was Jane who spoke, she said, “It’s true, your cousin’s not a Christian,”
“But we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your God, and we find magic everywhere,”

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic’s in the learning,
‘Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.

When Amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, “Really, no, don’t bother.”
Amber’s uncle saw how Amber looked like Tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn’t spoken in a year,
He thought he’d call him up and say, “It’s Christmas and your daughter’s here.”
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, so his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
“Can I be a Pagan?” Dad said, “Well discuss it when they leave.”

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.