Lyrics: The Honesty Room

I won’t forget when Peter Pan came to my house, took my hand
I said I was a boy; I’m glad he didn’t check.
I learned to fly, I learned to fight
I lived a whole life in one night
We saved each other’s lives out on the pirate’s deck.

And I remember that night
When I’m leaving a late night with some friends
And I hear somebody tell me it’s not safe,
someone should help me
I need to find a nice man to walk me home.

When I was a boy, I scared the pants off of my mom,
Climbed what I could climb upon
And I don’t know how I survived,
I guess I knew the tricks that all boys knew.

And you can walk me home, but I was a boy, too.

I was a kid that you would like, just a small boy on her bike
Riding topless, yeah, I never cared who saw.
My neighbor come outside to say, “Get your shirt,”
I said “No way, it’s the last time I’m not breaking any law.”

And now I’m in this clothing store, and the signs say less is more
More that’s tight means more to see, more for them, not more for me
That can’t help me climb a tree in ten seconds flat

When I was a boy, See that picture? That was me
Grass-stained shirt and dusty knees
And I know things have gotta change,
They got pills to sell, they’ve got implants to put in,
they’ve got implants to remove

But I am not forgetting…that I was a boy too

And like the woods where I would creep, it’s a secret I can keep
Except when I’m tired, ‘cept when I’m being caught off guard
And I’ve had a lonesome awful day, the conversation finds its way
To catching fire-flies out in the backyard.

And so I tell the man I’m with about the other life I lived
And I say, “Now you’re top gun, I have lost and you have won”
And he says, “Oh no, no, can’t you see

When I was a girl, my mom and I we always talked
And I picked flowers everywhere that I walked.
And I could always cry, now even when I’m alone I seldom do
And I have lost some kindness
But I was a girl too.
And you were just like me, and I was just like you

Ron and Nancy got the house but Sid and Nancy rule
I died 8 years ago I’m still a legend at my high school
I stole a Chevy and I wrapped it round a tree
But that’s OK cause no one’s gonna make the next century
I’m up in heaven now they say I’m here to stay
Where the clouds are really puffy and the angels sing every day
Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia, Wo-oh…

The cafeteria’s got everything it’s gonna drive me mad
Cause it looks just like a big Hawaiian party that my mother had
It’s like the worst Elvis film I’ve ever seen
Technicolor luau all on technicolor green
There’s camping trips and donkey rides and singing round the fire
And they signed me up for surfing
But they can’t get me in the choir
Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia, Wo-oh…

But there she was this morning getting fitted for her wings
Leather boots magenta hair and saying nasty things
I’d say she was an angel but it’s stupid and it’s obvious
I said you’ll hate it here cause we’re the only ones like us
It’s crypto-fascist mania it’s silicon deliria
Yeah, she said, you’re right, but I like the cafeteria

Hey God we’re the bad kids we’re so nasty mean and vile
God looks like a guidance counselor God’s got that smile
God says, how could this be, that’s really odd
I guess I’ll have to check my records, silly me, you know, I’m only God…

The waves are perfect and the sun will always shine
But there’s got to be more to death than surfing all the time
I know the signs of self-destruction so I try to stop each new kid
Don’t be like me, forever young, forever stupid
Yeah, I found love here but I’ll bet you’ll find it there
Where they don’t always make the same joke
Gee you make a heavenly pair
Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia
Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia
Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia
Alleluia

Once upon a time there was a nuclear family,
And we lived in a family time,v
And we’d unite in a family way.v
And off the ancient mountain,
They were splitting every nucleus.
They said “don’t be alarmed,
Just don’t try this at home.”
And they were the mystery that made the world run
And we had the power, ’cause they were the sun
And we called them our heroes, and the future had come.
They said,”look at the light we’re giving you,
And the darkness we’re saving you from.”

Soon they were bringing it into our showroom,
And they’d unveil it with it’s title,
Bring your family, bring your family,
It’s the Great Unknown.
You can look, but you can’t fathom,
It’s the Great Unknown.

I’m no ordinary princess, I was born in the cold war,
And my team is the Rockets.
Go team, it’s a dangerous time.
And I dream of the moon and building lunar clone colonies.
And I build my peace with strength, that’s the best weapon you’ve got.

Oh, I am the brainchild, I am the mortar,
With a plastic trophy and an eating disorder,
And vision as big as a great big wall,
And they tell me that I’ll move forward for the good of us all,
And the good of nuclear families all.

And they think I think I am important.
I know I never was, no I wasn’t.
No I never, and how could I be?
It’s the Great Unknown.
Now we’ve built it, now it’s ticking,
It’s the Great Unknown.

And I am your children, I am millions.
And I wanted to sell out, I wanted to try,
But you know the sky got too low, and the ocean got too high.
And I tried to take God into my own hands.
Am I too late? Is it over?
Have I sacrificed my family to the Great Unknown?
There’s a war between my conscience and the Great Unknown.

So I walked out into the Gamma fields
Out in Mercury, Nevada.
Where I stood in circle and that circle started to pray.
And the wind at the nuclear test sights floats the data at the radiation.
From the underground testing,
Cross the line, you’ll get arrested.
And we came from all over in a silent appeal
As the drill comes down like a presidential seal.
And we stand for the living, and we stand for the dead,
And we looked out to see your enemies,
And we see that you’re looking all at us instead.

And you think I am being disruptive?
But no I’m running home, I’m running,
‘Cause I’m trying to put the atom back together.
It’s the Great Unknown.
I’m just trying to put the atom back together.
It’s the Great Unknown.

Are we the fools for being surprised that a silence could end with no sound
Like the silent movie era like with snow like when Sal’s burned down
Well yeah there was noise but nothing to mark the passing on
Of that great unspoken chance we had found
Where the night’s end came well-trod and familiar
Like the Charlie Chapin walk that fades to black
And there wasn’t anyone trying to sell their souls
They were only trying to buy them back
They were only trying to buy them back

Well yeah there was a Sal he walked with bulging pockets round town
Either he was up to no good or he just got excited watching things burn down
Well I guess he got the idea if you hold a chunk of gold in your hand now
For once in your life you can throw some weight around
And Sal you slimeball sell-out how can we blame you
We all want something to put our fingers on
And you never know the true throne that you’ve lost
Till the vinyl barstools are gone
Till the vinyl barstools are gone

If you toss around some words you might say that
Sal was carrying a torch for the mob
But the mob’s gone too yeah the only sign of them left
Is on every screen at the multiplex and we go there no prob hey
Cause there ain’t no cowboys in this Connecticut town
No not anymore, no, not since Sal’s burned down
Once you’d dip your tin cup down in the muse’s watering hole
Or pioneer a new patch of common ground
Then you’d lie on your time-traveled bedroll
Quite amazed at the expansive terrain
And if anyone said that you’d never have fame and fortune just that bar
You know you’d ride that way again
I bet you’d ride that way again

Tonight was just great, she taught us the sign for peace
Now she’s made us some popcorn, we’ve turned out the lights
And we’re watching movies
I don’t understand and she tries to explain
How a spaceship is riding through somebody’s brain
And there’s blood and guts and…

She’s the best one that we’ve ever had
She sits on her hair and she’s tall as my dad
And she tie-dyed my shirt and she pierced her own ear
And it’s peace, man, cool, yeah, the babysitter’s here.

Her boyfriend is Tom but we call him “the king of romance”
He wears an American flag on the butt of his ripped up pants and
Will they get married with kids of their own
He says “Not if she’s going to college we won’t”
and he kisses her, oh, someday I’ll have a boyfriend just like that

She’s the best one that we’ve ever had
She sits on her hair and she’s tall as my dad
And she got mad at dinner when Tom drank a beer
But peace man, cool hey, the babysitter’s here

And we all went to see her go dance at the high school
We made her a big card
And she told us that she’d be the unicorn wearing the pink leotard, and
There she was leaping up just like she said
With a sparkling horn coming out of her head
And she’s oh, oh, oh, oh
(I can’t wait to give her the card, I can’t wait to give her the card)
She’s the best one…

OK, so the play was called “The Unicorn” and she was the
unicorn so that means that the star was my babysitter.
But it’s Saturday night, I can’t sleep and I’m watching the news
She says do me a favor don’t go with a guy who would
Make you choose and
I don’t understand and she tries to explain
And all that mascara runs down in her pain ’cause she’s leaving me

You’re the best one that we’ve ever had
You sit on your hair and you’re tall as my dad
And I’ll make you a picture for college next year
So hush now, peace, man
The babysitter’s here
The best babysitter’s here

Why is it that as we grow older and stronger
The road signs point us adrift and make us afraid
Saying “You never can win,” “Watch your back,” “Where’s your husband?”
Oh I don’t like the signs that the signmakers made.

So I’m going to steal out with my paint and brushes
I’ll change the directions, I’ll hit every street
It’s the Tinseltown scandal, the Robin Hood vandal
She goes out and steals the King’s English
And in the morning you wake up and the signs point to you

They say
“I’m so glad that you finally made it here,”
“You thought nobody cared, but I did, I could tell,”
And “This is your year,” and “It always starts here,”
And oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, “You’re aging well.”

Well I know a woman with a collection of sticks
She could fight back the hundreds of voices she heard
And she could poke at the greed, she could fend off her need
And with anger she found she could pound every word.
But one voice got through, caught her up by surprise
It said, “Don’t hold us back we’re the story you tell,”
And no sooner than spoken, a spell had been broken
And the voices before her were trumpets and tympani
Violins, basses and woodwinds and cellos, singing

“We’re so glad that you finally made it here
You thought nobody cared, but we did, we could tell
And now you’ll dance through the days while the orchestra plays
And oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, you’re aging well.”

Now when I was fifteen, oh I knew it was over
The road to enchantment was not mine to take
Cause lower calf, upper arm should be half what they are
I was breaking the laws that the signmakers made.

And all I could eat was the poisonous apple
And that’s not a story I was meant to survive
I was all out of choices, but the woman of voices

She turned round the corner with music around her,
She gave me the language that keeps me alive, she said:

“I’m so glad that you finally made it here
With the things you know now, that only time could tell
Looking back, seeing far, landing right where we are
And oh-oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, you’re aging, oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh and I am aging,
oh oh-oh-oh oh-oh, aren’t we aging well?”

Have I got everything? Am I ready to go?
Is it going to be wild, is it gonna be the best time?
Or am I just a-saying so-o-o-o? Am I ready to go?
What do I hear when I say I hear the call of the road?

I think it started with driving, more speed, more deals, more sky, more wheels
More things to leave behind, now it’s all in a day for the modern mind
And I am traveling againv
Calling this a ghost town, and where is the heartland?
And I’m afraid, oh, was there any good reason, that I had to go
When all I know is I can never come back.

Traveling I made a friend, he had a trouble in his head
And all he could say’s that he knew that the bottle
Drank the woman from his bed, from his bed
He said “I’m not gonna lose that way again.”
But sober is just like driving, more joy, more dread, someone turns her head

And smiles and disappears
He’s gotta take it like it is, and it goes too fast
And he is just like me, caught in-between, no sage advisor
Does weary mean wiser?
And someday will I sing the mountains that carried me away away
From home and hometown boys like you?

Yeah, but what about us? Was it really that bad?
Oh it’s hard to believe I want a highway roadstop
More than all the times we had, on little dirt roads
What am I reaching for that’s better than a hand to hold?
It really was about driving, not fame, not wealth,
Not driving away from myself
It’s just myself drove away from me
And now I gotta get it back and it goes so fast, so I am traveling again

Sitting at the all-nite, picking up a pen
And I’m afraid, oh, was there any good reason
That I had to go, when all I know is I am all alone again
And you are the ghost town, and I am the heartland
And I can say, oh, that’s a very good reason
That I had to go, but now all I know is I can never com
e back
And I will never go back.

Love took a long time, it followed me here
And it landed on light feet, and it whispered in my ear
Love spoke of my past as a valuable test
And smiled, and said she who loves last loves best
‘Cause you know life is hard, but now you also know your mind,
So now you’re going out to love, but on your own side this time
Where you still think of famine, and you still dig up train fare
And you won’t mind the wrinkles, ’cause you know how they got there
In love but not at peace
In love but not at peace.

Once for me love was the boat inside of a bottle,
It felt like a gondola ride,
When you float with the nicknacks, and you don’t hear a sound
Where the fish never lived, and you don’t miss the ground
And the moon hangs above like a Valium pill
And I say I’ll be fine, but I don’t think that I will
But today I got work, and I like it that way
It’s a case of a still life gone cinema verite
In love but not at peace
In love but not at peace.

And I still need the beauty of words sung and spoken
And I live with the fear that my spirit will be broken
And that’s the way I thought it would be
That’s the way I always wanted it to be.

So I’ll keep you wondering what time I’m arriving
And you’ll drive me crazy with your backseat driving
And I’ll talk in my sleep and you’ll steal all the covers
We’ll argue it out and we’ll call ourselves lovers
And I’ll stay in my body and you’ll stay in your own
‘Cause we know that we’re born and we’re dying alone.
So we turn out the light while the sirens are screaming
And we kiss for the waking, and then join the dreaming.
In love, but not at peace
In love, but not at peace.

The blue it speaks so full
It’s like the beauty one can barely stand
Or too much things dropped in your hand
And there’s a green like the peace
In your heart sometimes
Printed underneath the sheets of ashy snow
And there’s a blue like where the urban angels go, very bright
Now the Caldor mobile tips a biomorphic sphere
Then it swings its dangling pieces
round to other paintings here

Your behavior is so male
It’s like you can’t explain yourself to me
I think I’ll ask Renoir to tea
For his flowers are as real as they are all the time
And the sunlight sets the furniture aglow
It’s a pleasant time as far as people go, how far do they go?
Well his roses are perfect and his words have no wings
I know what he can give me and I like to know these things

I met her at the funeral
She said I don’t know what he meant to me
I just know he affected me
An effect not unlike his art,
I believe

The service starts and we are in the know
He had so much to say but more to show, and ain’t that true of life?v
So we weep for a person who lived at great cost
Yet we barely knew his powers till we sensed that we had lost

A friend and I in a museum room
She says, “Look at Mark Rothko’s side
Did you know about his suicide?
Some folks were born with a foot in the grave, but not me, of course”
And she smiles as if to say we’re in the know
Then she names a coffee place where we can go, uptown
Now the painting is desperate, but the crowds wash away
In a crowd of kind pedestrians who’ve seen enough today

My house is hard to find, but I’ll give you directions,
You can visit sometime, down where all that I built surrounds me
Just make sure your car’s got good shocks
There’s steep hills, there’s potholes, there’s rocks
I work in the garden, my son plays around me
Close the gate behind you, there’s a horse that can’t get out
I will see you first, is that all right
And can you remember, can you remember

This is not the house that pain built
This is not the house that pain built
I was drowning in something, I jumped in the rift
And you knew me back then, when I spat on my gift, but no

It’s tough and it’s tiring when you go it alone
I learned about wiring, I learned about stone
The building is done but the work’s never through
And I won’t give up, no how, it reminds me of who I am and where I am now
I remember myself, that’s the work that I do
On a spring night when the snow is melting
You’ll see two sets of footprints walking
Look at all the stars, and turn around, and walk home,
Slowly walk home.

This is not the house that pain built
That is not a house that pain built
My friends all think that I holed up and hid
But I tell them I didn’t, you know I don’t think I did, no.

And this is where I let my pain go
This is where I let my pain go
This is where the footprints dance in the snow

I heard love can fall so hard, it can bury a kingdom
I heard it makes the spring appear out of season
It’s a storm in a shadowbox, a force to be reckoned with,
When it finds you and find you, it will.

And I’d not believed it til I loved, I love
The rivers sing and stars awaken above me
And the wind and the moon in fits of restless conspiring
Turn night to heaven for you.

But I am going to a far, far land
I know it sure as I’ve a past and a future
With my maps on the table, you see, I have lost many things
So many I won’t turn back.

And were I a deadwood ship, my heart a compass
I would leave with inanimate grace, no love could touch me
But I live and I know that I’ll burn as I grow
Though it might break my heart to walk away and so

As a moon may adore you and remain, high moon
The wind may crown your head with leaves, and keep blowing
So I’ll stop and I’ll watch you, for I love, I love
And then be on my way. And then be on my way.

It’s a small town life and I like it
‘Cause the bad don’t get in your way
There’s an angry God gonna strike it
Yeah, that’s what we pay him for, that’s why we pray
Well I guess the angry God he was a-fishing
When Molly called me up with the news
Within the space of a week
Yeah, a pervert or a sex freak
Let the kids take a peek
That’s more than a little cheek
No pun intended

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
And you don’t act smart and you don’t touch my children
If the young man wants to see the sun go down

Well there was no time fooling with the trifles
So there was no use in telling the men
They would just go running for their rifles
And then once you got him couldn’t get him again
So Peg got a bolt of fishing tackle
And Marge got her gardening clips
And Sally LaBiche put her hound on a leash
And the timer on the quiche, she’s kind of nouveau riche
But we like her

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
And you don’t act fresh and you don’t touch my children
If the young man wants to see the sun go down

It was the kids who spotted him a running
As we drove through the harbor fog
And that’s when we got our engines gunning
‘Cause we knew he was headed for the cranberry bog
We got our hip-high rubber boots strapped on
And Molly got the big flashlights out
And by the “Welcome to New England” sign
Got him with the fishing line
In the dark smell of brine
Betty said “This one is mine.”
She is ruthless

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
And you just say no and you don’t touch my children
If the young man wants to see the sun go down

Well we didn’t have to drag him and a-jail him
‘Cause you don’t have to take it so far
When your roots go back to Old Salem
And you’ve got a local chapter of the DAR
Now I don’t go tooting on my lobsters
‘Cause your pride doesn’t go with your plaid
But it’s a victory won and it couldn’t be done
By the hippy-dippy flaky-shaky fun-in-the-sun
Braless wonders

Ay-yi-yipee-yipee-yi-yi-ay
Going east of Mississippi got a flinty kind of woman
And you know your place and you don’t touch my children
If the young man wants to see the sun go down
If the young man wants to see the sun go down

My dad’s a miracle and so’s my mom.
They fly over the blue.
They finish their dinner and then they take one another’s hand.
And off they go to find a broader point of view.
For it’s a give and take beyond the ordinary.
What with all the cats and kid’s that they’ve loved.
And they will not be alone.
My friends give me purple flowers and orange tea
On goosedown spilling quilts and turquoise chairs
We greet each other in a wild profusion of words
And wave farewell amidst the wonderment of air
And in the laughing times we know that we are lucky
And in the quiet times we know that we are blessed
And we will not be alone
Well, the light that stopped the night felt like forgiveness to you
As the garbage trucks came bustling through their rounds
You stared at the pictures on your wall and all the postcards from your friends
As you heard the birds and old familiar sounds
An that’s when you knew this world can’t be saved, only discovered
And you knew things could be different than before
And you will not be alone anymore